MN Wedding Journal: Final Scene

The end of the wedding story...

Now for the beginning.

Notice anything about these above two pictures of the bride?
All of the pictures of the bride for that matter?
While everyone around her is smiling ear to ear, she is smiling a very unique smile.
That smile is what lead her now husband to her in the first place.


When Andrea was a girl she was afflicted multiple times with Bell's Palsy.
BP rarely happens on both sides of the face, but Andrea is a rare person, and she was one of those who did have BP on both sides.
BP mostly affected her lower face.
Smiling with facial paralysis creates a mask similar to a "Popeye" caricature.
I was affected with BP this past October.
It is not the worse thing that could ever happen to a person.
However, the loss of normal facial expression is heartbreaking.
Smiles and laughter normally bond people together.
A smile from a BP person can be unsettling as the paralyzed face contorts, closing one eye, dropping the face on one side while the other side over compensates.
As a married woman in my fifties, I was irked that this was happening, but it wasn't the end of my world.
For Andrea, BP happened to her as a young woman.
A six foot tall young woman with glasses.
It happened as she began puberty.
And just when the BP would begin to improve, she would relapse again.
There was even surgery performed on her facial nerve in hopes that pressure could be relieved.
It didn't help.
When the facial nerve is paralysed more than a smile is lost.
Chewing food become difficult, as the paralysed cheek is unable to move food effectively.
The lips don't purse. (Lipstick application and kissing is different)
Whistling is no longer possible (I still miss whistling...)
Sucking on a straw is no longer possible.
And for many BP effected people, keeping saliva inside is not automatic. (Mostly my eye was affected)

We all know how difficult it is to go through adolescence, feeling sensitive about our looks.
Imagine what Andrea went through.

I know what it is like to be tall, and wear glasses while growing up.
It's hard to feel good about yourself, to feel feminine, and to fit in.
Even with great faith, and a caring family, it gets tough when you look different.

Andrea's two younger sisters and brother found spouses, got married.
And Andrea had a turning point with her relationship with God.

It was rough.
She made some bad choices.
Some could have had permanent consequences.

She had just moved to Hawaii, and had made a choice one evening that could have jeopardized both herself and Laura's safety.

(Scared Laura...it was pretty wild crazy behavior)

It was a wake-up call.

Andrea turned a corner. She turned her life back over to God.

And she made a list of what she hoped for, someday, in a husband:
A big man.
Taller than she was.
A scruffy manly man (no metrosexual type guy)
An outdoors type.
With large hands,
And a very large faith in God.

Meanwhile Laura "The Good One" was getting engaged to "The Wrong One."

Andrea knew it, we knew it.

How could Andrea even say anything about this? She spoke up anyway, and spoke truth.

After they both left Hawaii, Andrea returned to her job as a cardiac nurse in her home town.
There was an online Christian dating service in the area.
Andrea posted her picture.

Jason saw the picture.
He sent her an electronic "wink", and wrote her:

"I love your smile."

It was her smile that drew him to her picture.
When they met, he told his friends that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever met.
Andrea is his first love.
And you wouldn't believe how big his hands are!
And how much he loves God and others.

Sometimes there's a reason for things.
Sometimes things just work together for the good.

Laura and I believe so too.

Someday.

MN Wedding Journal: The Reception

The tanned ones were from snowy Minneapolis.

The tall white one lives in California.

Go figure.

Now here was a refreshing moment: A couple who had just vowed to love, respect and honor one another tenderly feeding each other a piece of wedding cake.

The last wedding I went to (bride and groom were both graduates from a major Christian University) the bride ground the cake on the groom from forehead to chin.

He retaliated by shoving her down on the floor and smearing the cake from hairline to chest.

And everyone laughed.

Except me.

I was horrified. How rude can one be to someone you love, than to do something like that?

This, on the other hand, was SO delightful to see.

So loving.

I'm tearing up just looking at it.

There was a slide show with music of them growing up.

Very common to see this sort of thing at weddings now days.

I always choke up. This time since Laura and Andrea are about the same age it was especially teary, as even though they grew up half a country apart, the hairstyles and clothing styles that they wore as kids were so similar.

And the pictures of Laura and Andrea together in Hawaii...we had to reach for a hankie at that point.

Her dad really lost it the first time he saw the slide show.

"I just watched my little girl grow up, in three minutes!"

Yes.

Children grow up during long days and short years.

And sometimes in only three minutes time.

MN Wedding Journal: After

After "The Hallelujah Chorus" recessional.

When you finally get married at age 30, after thinking it will never happen, it's the perfect recessional song.

Everyone mingled as hors d'oeuves were brought around through the crowd in the atrium.

Oh man, those cheese stuffed and sour cream with caviar baked red mini potatoes were good.

Aren't these ladies cute?

Old friends catching up.

I had to take a picture.

More yummies!

Beautiful frame too.

The catering staff was part of the church.

I still like looking at my own wedding's reception pictures and seeing who was there.

I liked that this wedding was almost all family and close friends, about 125 people.

That is what is so nice about marrying while you still live in your own home town.

And getting married IN your home town.

And not viewing your wedding as a society/business networking event (ugh!)

Just lots of love and loveliness.

MN Wedding Journal: The Ceremony

The Bride and her Maid of Honor.

Down the aisle...Laura gives her mom a big smile. The bouquet in her hand is calla lillies with magnolia leaves bent over to show the bronze underside of the leaf.

The processional was Cindy Morgan's "Make Us One" (You might be able to click on that link and scroll down to hear a sound clip from the song on Amazon.)

(As Laura put it, "She went for maximum tear factor in music choice." Tear factor achieved!)

Didn't everyone wash up nicely? I liked that the couple faced the audience.

Laura liked that she could see all the grooms men's lips quivering.

Done deal!

They wrote their own vows and they were lovely.

They promised to encourage and appreciate and love each other more every day.

Me? I really appreciate the traditional nine part commitment:

Have

Hold

Better

Worse

Richer

Poorer

Sickness

Health

Death

Someone once told me what you are signing on for was a commitment, even more than love.

Love is a gift from God.

A Commitment you personally have to make happen.

Love is often seen as a feeling.

Commitment is an "even though" promise.

Someone else said you haven't read a book, don't know the whole story until the last page is read and the book is closed.

Only then will you be able to say what the story was about, what it meant, how it turned out.

The nine fold vow includes death...the final page of the marriage, when there will be one person knowing at last the entire story.

Only after the loss of a mate can anyone say: "Our marriage" and be speaking of every day of it.

Sobering thoughts.

We have had, and held, been better and been worse, been richer and been poorer, and have been healthy and been sick during the these first thirty years.

At each turn it's been good to be able to say;

"Yeah, that was what I sign up for that day in the pretty white gown. This (rich, sick, better...) means I am having a marriage!"

Even though the couple didn't say the nine things, I have a feeling they understand what they are undertaking.

They're going to do just fine.

They're at it again...

I am so frustrated.
I've been posting pictures to old blogger, and then copying them into my new blogger site, this one that you are reading, due to issues with the beta migration.
Last night blogger forced me to migrate the old site to the "new" blogger.
I was very reluctant to do that, but I had no other choice.

I was thrilled to find that after doing that I could post my pictures directly to this site from picasa. It was so easy and fun!

I wanted to finish up the wedding, but someone was hungry so we braved the cold to go get food, and see the Mall of America.

I hate malls anyways, and this one took the cake.

Food?

Texas Barbecue.
Gulf Coast Bubba Shrimp

Music?

Beach Boys.

So glad am I that I have gotten to experience a different culture?

Anyway, now I can not post a picture to either site.

Nothing.
Nada.
Zip.

This whole weekend I have been squeezing in posting time when Internet and down time was available.
About one in three posts got "eaten" at posting.

Gone.
Maybe God has them in heaven.
Maybe people in other universes are reading them over their version of tea.

Grrr.....

Anyway, just to let you know I really want to publish the final scenes of the wedding, the ceremony, the "mingle outside before the reception" time, which would be called hordervers if I could spell that word, you know, the little food items served on silver trays?
And the reception itself.

I've gotta get packed up and out of the hotel.
Laura and I plan to drive around Minneapolis and where ever our fancy leads us until we have to go to the airport late this afternoon.
We won't be getting out the warm car to see anything better.
Not in this cold.

So that's what's going on....or in blogger case, NOT going on!

MN wedding journal: Mother and daughter time

See? Don't you think the dress would have looked great with a hat?

Bernie and Jeff are sking in Salt Lake City this weekend, and of course my parents are in San Diego, so I'm posting these pictures for all of them.

Hi Honey!

We love you!

MN wedding journal: Millinery

Someone (Ok, LOVELLA...) wanted to know what kind of hat I was going to wear to the wedding.

Answer: A marabou feathered teardrop hat.
I knew it would be very light and very warm.
Perfect for a cold winter's day.
(I even took a picture outside to prove how cold it looked! Brrr....)

I brought the cutest white beaded gloves too, but I left them in the hotel room at the last minute.
I suppose that is to be expected with us young women who have little sense of priority.
Imagine going out the door without my little beaded gloves!

At least I remembered my reading glasses.
Laura thought they looked cute.
She also encouraged me to add a BIGGER diamond pin to side of the hat. You can just see the two inch size diamond pin in the first photo.

Millinery notes: I bought a bridal tear drop satin covered hat base at the craft store, and stitched a marabou boa onto it, starting in the middle and working outward. Then I put a peach satin liner on the inside, and lace to cover the joint between the hat body and the lining. It does have an elastic jenny to wear under the hair, but I found it to be more secure to just use two bobby pins parallel to the edges, just slightly slipped over the edge and into the hair. The back of the hat does have a pearl hat pin to hold the hat at the slightly downward angle. This is an extremely easy project, using a ready made base frame, although it would be simple to create your own using buckram and millinery wire. It really is a very warm hat, and very light, and I think it would have been gorgeous in brown or cream on the bridesmaids. See next post for details!

Added fun: I was so pale compared to the Minneapolis ladies. They all had gotten themselves off to the tanning salon for the wedding, a practice I find barbaric after seeing skin cancer effects on complexions. I slathered on more make-up than I have worn in years, and still looked anemic. Us southern ladies (aka: hothouse flowers of the South) know how to avoid the sun.

MN Wedding Journal: Laura Fest continues...

Dead of winter, strapless gowns.

Sure.

Why not?

It really is a beautiful dress.

When Laura was shopping for a bridal gown two summers ago, ruching was just starting to be seen.

We fell in love with the look.

Andrea shopped with Laura at that time and liked the look as well.

Isn't it a beautiful detail?

Of course, in this case, the model outshines the dress.

But that goes without saying.

(except, of course, that I just did...)

MN Wedding Journal: The Kabuki Bridesmaids

You should have have known I was going to go ga-ga over my own girl.

Time now for LAURA FEST, where I post a ridiculous amount of pictures of my favorite nurse.

Jeepers creepers, where did you get those peepers?

Laura, the sweet and innocent sweetheart.

Laura, the girl with a little attitude.

Laura, the girl with a LOT of attitude.

And make-up.

She put up her hair and did her make-up before she got to the church.

The bride's sister was a make-up artist.

She called Laura over and told her she would be having her make-up done next.

After she was finished, Laura was surprised to discover that apparently they were going for the Kabuki Bridesmaid Look.

MN Wedding Journal: The day has arrived

The day has arrived.
Feb. 2, 2007.
Candlemass.
Winter is half way over.
Andrea is laced into her wedding gown.
A veil is added, and it is clear:
Andrea today becomes a bride.

In the reception hall, the cake has arrived.


Florists and caterers create table settings that are elegant, reflecting the taste and style of the bride.










The wedding party was told to arrive at the church at 12:30.
Picture taking would begin at 2.
The Bridal room was warm and lively, with hair and dresses, jewelry and make-up transforming girls in jeans to beautiful bridal attendants.

At two, the bridal party withdrew, leaving the bride alone in her room.
The groom knocked at the door.
And the two shared a tender moment uncaptured except in their own private memories.

After that, for three and a half hours, picture after picture captured the wedding party and families.

That's a lot of pictures.
Whew.
I don't think I could have managed for so long in a corset, holding a heavy bouquet and smiling again and again.

(The groom looked just a little tried as the hours wore on, and pictures continued to be snapped.
Rented patent leather tuxedo shoes don't feel so good standing on pseudo cobble stones in the park like setting outside the chapel.
I stole to his side and whispered:
"You know, it's still not too late to elope."
"Here's my keys" he replied softly. "Quick, go warm up my car!")

Laura and I stayed together.
I changed in the bridal room once the crowd cleared out.
We walked and talked, and shared our thought about what she would want in a wedding.
We think alike.
No muss.
No fuss.

Laura's been in five weddings: One in a back yards, one in a park, one in a gazebo, one on the beach, and now this one, in a church.

I'm glad I was happy with my own wedding. Too many brides suffer for having to fulfill their own mother's thwarted wedding dreams.

It isn't that I think a big wedding is wrong.
I don't.
The wedding in Cannaan was a humdinger.
Far be it from me to disapprove of big weddings like that!

I think it is more that we think more of marriage than we do of weddings.

And it is hard to focus on the specialness of the day that vows are taken and a marriage begins when there's cake arrivals to notice and strangers to meet and dress steamers vying for your attention.

A weddings is a lovely scripted one day scene.
While marriage day by year unfolds, the creation of life together, unscripted.

Wedding, though, are a beautiful thing.

MN Wedding Journal: Rehearsal Dinner

One of the things I like best about visiting new places is getting the chance to sample the local cuisine. I happen to adore Scandinavian food.

In fact, I love Scandinavian food so much that when we got married, our rehearsal dinner was held at a Scandinavian restaurant in Lemon Grove.

For years our favorite date was to go out for a late breakfast on Friday mornings to the Dansk Tea Room in La Mesa, near our home for fourteen years in Southern California.












The tea room had walls painted Copenhagen blue, white lace curtains and red Swedish horses for decoration. It was easy to imagine we were in Sweden, as girls in Swedish folk dress brought us beautifully prepared dishes, their hair worn in braids wrapped crown like around their heads.
The table mats and wall art there showed Carl Larssen art, tender portraits of domestic bliss in Sweden.
Bliss indeed for us as well to be in that special place.

Now that we live in Houston we haven't found any Scandinavian restaurants to visit.
We make do with occasional visits to IKEA's little cafeteria.
Love those lingonberries and Swedish meatballs.

Of course, Mexican food is easy to find in San Diego, Houston, and even in Salt Lake City.
Just about every street has a Mexican restaurant.

But sometimes I just long for a good traditional Scandinavian meal.

Pictured above: The wedding rehearsal dinner.

(So of course the rehearsal dinner in Minneapolis, the center of Scandinavian people in America, was held at Dave and Busters. The fajita and taco buffet was outstanding. Really! I just love fajitas and taco! Eat them all the time. Who knew the Scandinavian people could cook fajitas and tacos just like the Mexicans???)

MN Wedding Journal: Rehearsal

The Bride's Room.

So cute!







It fascinated me that the ultra contemporary facility bowed to the traditional for this hard working space.

The furniture all looked antique, like well loved pieces from grandmother's house.
It looked like a cozy place to curl up with a cup of tea and a good friend for a nice long chat on the sofa.





The little dressing table was adorable, with a crystal dressing table set, lace and a tiny (wobbly) upholstered stool.
In another little room behind this table was a beauty parlor set up.
There was a shampoo sink with an indentation for the neck, a hard bonnet hair drier, a chair with lift and spin capacity, and a half wall of mirrors with make up lighting.

Cute, cute, cute!

It was the next day, as the bride stood getting laced into her dress, that she noticed one of the pink toile design was a girl milking a goat.

One of those whimsical things that makes you smile.

As charming and pretty and romantic and everything that this room was, let me just make a suggestion for those designing Bride's Rooms:

Once you add five bridesmaids, assorted mothers and grandmothers, hairdressers and photographers, crinoline petticoats, trains, makeup bags, clothing in bags, boots, steamers and water bottles, the Bride's Room gets a little tight, and very warm.

This bride's room connected to the very large (like 16 stalls) bathroom, which helped.

But what is really needed more than crystal dressing table sets and big puffy pillows is:
Hooks on the walls that are slightly higher than one's head, to keep trains off the ground.
More hooks to hold bags of assorted "stuff".
A mini refrigerator so an ice chest isn't needed.
More raised flat surfaces, so everything doesn't have to go on the floor
A step stool so the veil can be placed/fixed on the bride without her having to sit down.
A stall with a door so wide bell shaped dresses don't get crushed going in and out.

I've been in several Bride's Rooms in the heat of the wedding preparation battle, and have always been stuck with how cute they are, yet impractical in function.

Maybe if the bride and her attendants were all to arrive at the church ready to walk down the aisle these rooms would be perfect.
A space to retreat to while guest arrive.
A cozy space for a cup of tea and a final visit with your girlfriends.

Um, again, maybe this is just me...but I just can't see that happening!
Except maybe in a white lace and promises storyline dream.

The rehearsal.
I liked the chandeliers!
The rogue gallery "before" picture.

I loved the Chapel's white pews, and the soft color scheme.
On the side walls were old plaster Stations of the Cross hangings.

A very serene place.

A traditional feeling place, a perfect place for the more sentimental rituals of Christian life.

A perfect place for Andrea's wedding.

Below what? update

It is eleven degrees below zero here.

Minneapolis has officially curtailed its Winter Carnival Torchlight parade scheduled for tonight.

The parade will be shortened to three blocks long, as the wind chill factor tonight is going to be about negative 30 degrees in the metro area.

And to be minus 45 degrees outside the city.

As I write this, Laura is driving to the present opening/morning after the wedding breakfast.

Yawn...can't those presents wait till after the honeymoon?

Not if the mom and mil have anything to say about it.
And they certainly did.
Say something about it, that is.

I feel so bad for the newlyweds, who probably didn't even get to the hotel much before midnight, and have to show up at this event at 8 am to keep peace.
I say: Make War on this one, and skip it, but it's really none of my business.
Good thing no one here knows about this blog ;->

Anyway, back to the weather.

Laura called me to report that the inside the car digital outside temperature display read minus 11 degrees.

She called back a few minutes later to say it had dropped to minus 13 degrees.

And that her fingers and ears hurt, and it hurt to breath.

I told her to wear a hat.
She said she didn't want to mess up her hair.
Hope she still has ears when she comes back. I really like her ears.
I'd hate it if they got so cold they froze and fell off.

Bet she'd wear a hat all the time if that happened.

MN Wedding Journal: NWCC

"Living Word Christian Center" is the place where the wedding will be held.



It is an ENORMOUS facility, with a bookstore, coffee bars, a sanctuary like a modern theater, PLUS a wedding chapel.

And that is only what I was able to see as I walked through on my way go to the wedding rehearsal.

Below is a picture of what you see when you walk in the front door.
Simply beautiful.
There is also a very large bookstore and gift shop just to the right.
A nice plaza between the Sanctuary and the Chapel.
Perfect for mingling between services.
The fountains, clock, lanterns and arboretum create a feeling is both elegant and park like.














I am sincerely impressed, and I approve of this kind of facility.
Its design is fitting to accommodate the activities of this particular church.
Everywhere I looked I saw wise choices to facilitate large groups both efficiently and comfortably.

Even so, I think wistfully about white clapboard churches with soaring steels, and English chapels surrounded by cemeteries.

I've sat and worshipped in the church building where Bernie's ancestors were baptised and married, back in the 1700's, in Maryland. Around that church were the headstones of the families who have worshipped there for generations.

There's something powerful about considering those who have gone before, and imagining how the quiet setting will look when those dead in Christ shall rise again.

I really like how "Living Word Christian Center" performs.
I truly do.

But I think about the words, the titles:

"Sports Center" "Medical Center" "Business Center" "Media Center" "Shopping Center" "Community Center."

Whatever happened to "Church"?

"Church" and "Chapel" and "Cathedral" and "Mission"?

Those old clapboard steepled building really don't make sense any more.

But somehow I always feel a comfort when I see them.

Maybe it is just me.

I hope Living Word Christian Center will still house worshippers three hundred years from now.


And its presences in the future will be a comfort to those who visit it then.