Friday, October 01, 2010

34 down...16 to go! (and Polygamy question)

Another Sunday autumn drive....

This time north east of our house.

We were not expecting sheep traffic!

(Scenic views...tasty too!)

There was no wind blowing but this grove looked like it has endured a lot of wind over time.

The hills behind this ranch really had that salmon orange soil.

Sometimes I feel like I live in a calendar picture.

There are so many great rural scenes just minutes from my house.

I get the great views without having to bear agriculturally related odors!

Not sure what would happen if this water gate was opened. With the water flowing past, it felt like I was on a bow of small ship.

Another week and these trees will be in outstanding autumnal color.

Goldenrod: that and the sunny yellow small sunflowers along the road side are glowing brightly in the warm sunlight, as if unaware that winter is coming. It is hard to imagine these scenes buried in snow.

Even the tumbleweeds look cheerful, blooming with a magenta hue before drying out to a weak straw tone.

Wavy fencing looks so poetic compared to well tended straight ones.

I appreciate it when landowners go to the trouble to create natural fencing like this.

I imagine some of the wild life does too.

(I'd love to paint this four seasons.)

So we stopped for a bit of fishing (a few bites, no hook ups) and I noticed a sign that said Evanstone Wyoming was only 38 miles away.

I had never been to Wyoming before.

We had the time...soooo....

Ta-DAH!!! Wyoming: Forever that "West" or "Wild"

Seems kind of stupid to declare itself forever west. It can't exactly move around on whim now can it? The word must be "Wild" right?

(Hmmm...what I can I do to help this state live up to its motto?)

Seems like the whole place is about fireworks.

Selling Fireworks AND liquor at the same place?

Now that's wild! Even crazy old Texas doesn't sell fireworks and beer together.

Well, OK then! What would be the wildest thing I could get at this shop?

Midori, because I like the melon liquor with a bit of lemon lime soft drink, and Clamto Beer, because that sounds totally crazy and wild.

(Truthfully, I still haven't gotten wild enough to give it a taste.)

The way up to Wyoming is amazing. The red rock areas aside the road will definitely be getting some exploration by us later.

We want to hike it...

And I want to photograph it in snow.

Wouldn't this be an amazing shot with snow frosting each layer?

With that little jaunt, I have now officially visited 34 of the 50 states.

(I did the tally on a paper sack we had in the car.)

I still have 16 states that I have not yet visited, and Bernie only has two states left to visit (Rhode Island and Maine.)

We agreed that he definitely needs to get those two states checked off before he turns 60. (He'll be 57 next month.) And we will try to get to a few more of the northern tiered states for me.

I think visiting each of the 50 states is a worthy goal to have. Laura visited all 50 states before she even turned 30!

More autumn colors...this time grandkitty Cheeto who looks like he will start spouting ancient Chinese wisdom at any moment. (check out those curly whiskers...that has to count for something right?)

Thank you to all of you who commented on the Polygamy post. I knew none of my readers would be personally inclined to dabble in group marriage!

But I had deep reason for posting my thoughts than just wanting to confirm that fact; what I really wanted to find out was how you would vote if legalizing polygamy becomes a ballot issue.

To repeat: Except for the scriptural passage about pastors only having one wife, I am hard pressed to make a Scriptural argument against it as a Christian, regardless of how much polygamy doesn't appeal to me.

I'm praying about my position, mindful that if polygamy is legalized, it does open the door to Muslim immigrants who wish to come to America with their wives.

I truly do believe in freedom of religion. The Fundamentalist Mormons really do believe that their salvation is tied up to plural marriage; for them it is a religious issue.

On the other hand...what sort of impact would plural marriage have on our state and local situations? (I really have no idea how Social Security payments would be handled to three wives: would the husband's SS be split between the wives, or each wife receive as if they were an only wife?)

Since the Sister Wives show is airing and the Utah authorities are trying to decide whether or not to press charges, I have a feeling this issue will enter into public debate. I also suspect that The Learning Channel has promised to cover Kody Brown's legal bills if this situation goes to court.

There is a lot a stake if it goes to trial: Right now there are a lot of practicing polygamist, the estimate is around 50,000 people, and the number has doubled each decade.

A bit of research told me that the American Indians practiced polygamy, as did Scot/Irish and Welsh immigrants in early America; it was not a "new" thought with the Mormons, although they undoubtedly were the only group to tie the practice into religious doctrine.

There is an awful lot of "bad press" on the topic; THIS paper (note it is Humanists reporting) is quite disturbing. There is also writing about this subject going before the Supreme Court along with same sex marriage.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this topic. I'll be researching, but in the end, I know I have to find a way to balance my belief in religious freedom and my belief that "Two shall be come one" is the end of marital equation. would you vote, and why?

(Incidently, Wyoming's state motto is "Equal Rights". If I remember correctly, it was the first state to grant women the right to vote. Wonder how it will vote on polygamy if the question comes up?)

Thursday, September 30, 2010


Remember the old famous song that went:

Sisters, sisters
there were never more devoted sisters...

That song has been going through my mind the last day or so, ever since Bernie and I watched the new TLC television series "Sister Wives", a reality show filmed in Lehi, (near SLC) about a guy who is "married" to three wives, and in the season opener, baby #13 was on the way. (You can see clips from the show on the link.)

Oh, and the guy was about to propose to another woman as well, with the full approval of his wives and children.

Kody Brown legally married his first wife Meri about sixteen years ago. She was the daughter of a man with five wives and Kody had recently "converted" to the "original" Mormon thinking, which includes polygamy as a life style. First wife has only been able to produce one child, a daughter who is now age 15. Merri is currently working on getting a college degree to become a psychologist.

Shortly after the first wedding, the couple grew with an addition of a friend, Janelle, who liked them both and decided that she agreed with the life style. She is now a mother of five children, and works full time outside of the house. Her marriage is in the eyes of their church only; no "legal" marriage documents for that marriage. As a working woman, she said on camera that it is just great being able to work knowing her "sister wife" was at home with the kids, and that dinner would be ready when she got home!

Then a third woman, Christine, married in, within a few years of the first marriage. She stated on camera that also grew up in a polygamist household, and had always wanted to be a "third" wife, because she didn't want to be an only wife, felt being a second wife was to likely to place a wedge in a first wife's marriage, and as a third wife, it would be a better "family" situation. She is simply an adorable stay-at-home mom of six, and was the one expecting the family's 13th child in the season opener.

Everyone had contemporary looks about them; Kody even had shaggy hair.

Watching the three women and all the kids working with Kody to clean up the yard, and the women talking on a couch with Kody between two of them, it was easy to buy into what was happening. Kody was vigilant to spend time apart "dating" each wife to stay connected, and kissed each child each night, and each wife had his undivided attention before he left for work each morning.

The guy could be the poster boy for excellence in husbanding and fathering!

The women each agreed that having a sister wife was great. They were "best friends", all their kids were family, yet each wife had her own "apartment" within the family's large home. Each wife had a kitchen, dining and living area, plus bedrooms for each of her kids and herself.

There was one large common dining room for times when the whole family dined together. Kody jokingly shared that he was the only family member without his own space: finding his clothes was tricky as they were in each of his wives's closets.

The children attend a private "polygamist" school, where all the kids have several "moms" in the house. They even have a saying to clarify relationships: "She's a sister by the Mister" and "He's a brother by my mother". All the kids were incredibly cute, well behaved, helpful with chores and eager to run up to Dad for a hug. that is the basic information about this family.

After we watched the show, Bernie and I began to talk.

The first thing that I said was "How can this show be happening? It is ILLEGAL to have more than one wife in America. Surely he will be arrested!"

(The next day Kody was being investigated for bigamy by Lehi police. Utah law prohibits bigamy/polygamy either under common law or by co-habitation.)

The next thing we talked about was the fact that the women seemed pretty happy with the set up. In fact, they were the ones who basically encouraged Kody to get married over and over again.

"So many women are lonely" I said "Mother Theresa said the biggest epidemic in America is loneliness. I think a lot of women feel very isolated, they wind up being far from home, or move a lot due to their husbands jobs, or just lack the time/energy to reach out and make friends while rearing children. In other countries, women marry into family compounds with extended family to interact with daily."

Bernie said "Would you consider having a "sister wife?"

I thought about it for a bit.

What would it be like to have your best friend be part of your household? Your best friend's kids be related to your kids?

What would it be like to come home from work and have the house clean and dinner on the table?

What would it be like to be able to trade off child free hours and still stay at home?

Or go on dates without getting a baby sitter?

Yesterday as I drove home from work I tried to picture what it would be like to have a friend cooking, chatting with her about my day and her day after I arrived home.

I was picturing the four wives from the show...

Not so bad....

Later Bernie joked again about if I could handle sharing him with another wife. I joked back that I didn't think he could handle two women, but having two husbands might be handy: one could go fishing while the other worked on my "To Do" list, then the next day they could switch, and lot more would get done around here.

Interestingly, the second wife was the one who felt that after 16 years or so of their current family situation, it was time to stir thing up and add another wife. The wives were approached for their thoughts on the idea before Kody began to pursue the idea, and the children were approached for their thoughts before he proposed to his fourth wife Robyn. The oldest kids thought it would be weird, but that they could get used to have another "Mom" in the house.

Also interesting: The sister wives felt uncomfortable with Kody dating and "courting." Some how that was emotionally harder on them as it wasn't happening in the house so they didn't really know what was going on.

The fact that Robyn lived four hours away must have been taxing on their family dynamics. Plus Robyn was divorced from another polygamist relationship, and had three children.

That's adding not only another wife to the situation, but technically another father too.

(About the sexual part: As a middle aged woman, the sexual part of the equation doesn't seem like such a big deal...I know that sounds not quite right, but seriously, Kody sleeps with each wife in turn, which now means he is having sex with each wife about once every four days. If it has been a long day...and sleep is more appealing than sex, they would have sex once every 8 days. How "frisky" are most women with five or six kids anyway?)

Bernie and I also talked about whether having only one wife was simply a US law that was culturally demanded, or if it was really Biblically proscribed. The verse about having only one wife was specific in the job description for pastors, not all male believers. And of course in the Old Testament all the guys seemed to load up on wives.

Did God really proscribe only one wife per husband?

Like the old joke about marijuana: It may or may not be good for you, but it sure is illegal.

That old joke doesn't work anymore; California and Colorado have legal pot for sale all over the place.

A few years ago I read about the polygamy sensitivity training that was being done by law enforcement in Texas. That shocked me: The police were being trained to understand polygamy as a life style?

Then the television series "Big Love" hit the airways: the fictional story of a modern polygamist with three wives. They were portrayed as modern personalities, with regular clothes and hairstyles (not the Fundamentalist style with long braided hair and ankle length clothing.) The show received acclaim, and no one seemed concerned that the life style was totally illegal.

I did some thinking then too: Why would the subject of mainstream people living a polygamist life style suddenly be getting so much positive attention?

Suddenly it hit me: The Muslims practice polygamy. If they want to become American citizens, they have to shed a wife or two or three. This has actually become quite a problem in some churches when African Muslims become Christian, and are told they can not have more than one wife. What is such a man to do with his extra wives, whom he loves and who are the mother of his children?

I just don't know the answer to that one. It is illegal, but is it always a harmful situation? Is it more harmful to children than a divorce, and step moms? (From what I can tell, usually a "good" polygamy situation is better than what goes on in homes after a divorce.)

Kody said that he knew he was risking legal action against his family by agreeing to do this television series, but also felt strongly that it was time that their life style be accepted.

I salute him for being willing to stand up for what he believes.

I also know that a lot of polygamist families have the non-legally married wives apply for governmental assistance for food stamps, medical care etc. Currently Kody's family numbers at 21 members; Kody works as an ad sales man and Janelle works outside the home. Their house is ENORMOUS...his car is new and the other family SUVs look pretty new too. Either he is wildly successful in his sales or something else is happening here to keep this group afloat.

I've always said people should have as many kids as they are willing to support and have never blinked at the idea of large families. I do blink when I hear of families planning on using the governmental resources for the support.

Could I vote to make polygamy legal if governmental aid would treat the family the same as it does legally married families?


Do I agree that polygamist that "arrange" marriages to minors to be wrong?


(I chatted with a divorced woman who is my age the other day. She said she didn't want to get married, but the church elders overruled her, saying that they had wisdom from God that superceded her preference. The marriage produced one child and a divorce...)

Gay marriage is a hot topic across the country. There is clear Biblical prohibitions against same sex sexual contact. I think it will only be a matter of time before polgyamy laws will likewise be challenged. As a Christian, I think I had better do some deep thinking about this.

Right now...I am not sure where I stand.

I just know that I believe in strong families, with men who deeply care for their wives and children.

From what little I have seen so far, I'd rather have a family like Kody's than some of the traditional family train wreaks that I have seen.

But laws are not made for case by case situations. There in lies the rub.

(And no...Bernie and I are not looking for a "Sister Wife" or a "Brother Husband" for that matter. We do however kind of wish we could get back to having three cats!)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Aspens Are Kickin' As-tonishingly!

We checked out at 10 am sharp, headed downtown for coffee and a pastry, and took this one picture of a blazing tree in a tiny little park between buildings.

We wound up the hill out of town, me asking B. to pull over every few minutes so I could take a picture...

And he kept saying "Just will get better!"

He was right, of course!

I got such a kick out of how aspen color change races through the dark fir tree groves.

There were very few wildflowers could they compete with the aspen anyway?

Now why are the trees closest to the mountain orange, then in the middle of the grove they are green, then back to yellow again?

Bernie explained it has to do with water and light.
I still don't really get it.
I think it is just evidence that God does finger painting within tree stands sometimes.

The Utah sky always seems to be blindingly bright blue, and against the aspen? Double the blue's intensity!

I call the dots beauty marks, or freckles, or the trail of falling stars that have shimmered through the canopy of leaves.

The deep, deep greens of the fir trees are the perfect background for the explosive color event.

(I really like the picture above a lot!)

Like I said: why is one stand orange, another greenish yellow and still another is gold?

I do know that aspen spread via root system. All the trees in one stand are part of each other, so maybe each groups genetics are unique?

Do you hear a "WHEEEEEE....I'm painting the forest YELLOW for FALLLLLL!!!!!" when you see this shot?
(I do. The yellow formed a race track design in my mind.)
I've mentioned to Bernie that I personally think that after all the fir trees succumb to the pine bark beetle, that aspen will completely take over the forest. Time will tell if my theory is correct. Meanwhile, I do love the dark green/yellow contrast.

(How many pictures do you think you would have taken over two hours of this kind of scenery? I took 160. Just for the record.)

The road over Guardsman's Pass is just winding enough that every switch back down the mountain delivers another reason to stop the car and take some more pictures.

Fall has not peaked yet....and with our current dry spell and warm temps, I am hoping the colors change will last for quite awhile longer.
The mountains in the distance are naturally that color, but with a little imagination I can picture them snow capped.

And if we do get snow while the colors are still in full up, I will be racing to take this shot again!

The orange bowl in the distance: what a hike that would be to take right now.

It was kind of funny to see bike riders stop, balance their bikes between their legs and start snapping pictures. It wasn't so funny when cars ahead of us stopped suddenly on curves ahead of us and a camera would poke out the window to get a shot where there was no roadside parking.

Stand back is happening...autumn is about to ERUPT FROM THE TREES!!!!

I should of kept track of how many times I had Bernie pull over...

He was such a good sport about it....and we decided we should get a SLR for him to use on these trips. Anyone have suggestions for a good model?

I'd give the Utah color change scene a "10" .

This just totally puzzled me: why on earth did only one half of the aspen forest turn yellow? And manage to split down the center in such a perfectly straight line too.
OK...enough chatter. Just look and enjoy.

I made special request that we head for the pond, actually Midway Reservoir.
I had promised myself last spring that I would return to see it in the fall

Reflective water is always so great to photograph...

A day with no breeze, the sun bright over head, and I could go nuts taking pictures in a place like this.

My patient husband waiting for me to finish up.

Another autumn color eruption.

As we wound down Big Cottonwood Canyon to Wasatch, the aspen were left behind and the red aspect of autumn danced into view. We agreed that on Sunday we would check the roads North East of us to see what colors were happening over there.

Of course my favorite fall colored subject: Tiggie.
He has been through a lot this summer; you can catch up with his story on his own blog.
Thank you to all of you for praying for us as we treated his ears with drops. The drops didn't work in the end, and he had surgery to address the ear issues, then more surgery for teeth issues and some cancer.
He's pretty thin right now; I just hope that he puts on some weight before the snow flies here.
He's a good old guy...and I'd can always sense the best of autumn colors whenever I see the sun shining on his fur.