A friend from my high school pointed me to a three part series of articles entitled "God, Satan and the Birth of Haiti" written by a licensed Church of God minister to a Haitian-American Church.
I found the articles quite interesting, and especially the closing comment in part three that pointed out how ridiculous it would be for anyone to enlist the biggest slave holder in the Universe (Satan) for aid in throwing off the chains of slavery, a historical ploy being discussed in both historical documents and now in blogdom and television.
According to the author of the series, the Haitian did no such thing anyway.
If you are pressed for time, and just want a quick snippet of encouraging history, just check out the text under Haiti's First Steps After 1804 here. in part three of the series.
Meanwhile, I'm currently curious about something:
Why didn't a shake of that magnitude damage the entire island, instead of just Haiti? It surely is a geographic quirk, but one I haven't been able to identify as of yet.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A Need for Lifelong Learning
I believe in Lifelong Learning.
It is very important to continue learning new things as we age.
I, for instance, learned from the Lifelong Learning catalogue that "Zombies are invading neighborhoods all across the country".
That seemed like a pretty broad statement to me, or at least it did until I went looking for a picture of a zombie (just in case they were right about this zombie situation...I needed to know what a zombie might look like nowadays) and came across this:
It is very important to continue learning new things as we age.
I, for instance, learned from the Lifelong Learning catalogue that "Zombies are invading neighborhoods all across the country".
That seemed like a pretty broad statement to me, or at least it did until I went looking for a picture of a zombie (just in case they were right about this zombie situation...I needed to know what a zombie might look like nowadays) and came across this:
My parents, daughter, and grandkittens all live in San Diego!
The course description read:
Zombies are invading neighborhoods all across the country but we can help you prepare for them. Our Zombie expert gives you the tools you need to protect yourself from these creeping disasters. Whether you're just starting to plan your defense or you already have some measures in place, you will not want to miss out on this opportunity. When the Zombies knock out your power or initiate devastating natural disasters, you'll be able to face them confidently and with the weapons you need to defeat them.
Wednesday, 6:00 PM - 7:30 PM; 5 sessions starting January 13, 2010, ending February 10, 2010
Tuition: $39.00
The zombie problem must be WAY bigger than I originally thought: When I went online to sign up just now, it turned out that the class was already full.
Save me Obama. You're my only hope.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Watching
(click on the above pictures to see complete maps)So Haiti had a big one...7.3. It sounds like it was just awful...and a tsunami could still be happening. A hospital has collapsed, houses have been tossed into ravines, and who know what it is like there right now as I type.
Lately I've been having earthquake buzz brain. Lately I find myself checking the news, checking the quake maps. My parents live right on top of a major fault line in San Diego; we live on another major fault line in Utah, and memories of the 9.2 "Good Friday" Alaskan earthquake of 1964 and Santa Cruz area earthquake of the late 1980's still leave me with a sense of awe at what the earth can do.
The Alaskan earthquake had a rippling effect down the western United States coastline. My husband remembers being in Washington state and watching a school bus rattle on the road, then tip over.
I remember being evacuated.
It was the first time I had to consider what I would take with me on a moment's notice. Later I got to think through the question when evacuation due to a storm was required. (I quickly learned that I actually could not take all my photo albums!)
Since then my thinking has enlarged: not only do I consider what I would take with me in a car at a moment's notice (think wild fire, toxic spill), I also think about what I would take if I couldn't take a car. I think about what I would need to stay put for awhile without access to water or grocery store goods. I think about what those scenes would be like in summer and winter. I think about what it would be like to flee or stay in cases of natural disasters, and also menacing situations involving people.
I think about what Bernie and I and the cats would need in each situation.
My girlfriend lived through the 6.5 earthquake known as Loma Prieta. Her neighborhood clung together, cooking outside, and waiting for word from loved ones. She marveled that she had just come in one door and not another, as the other doorway usage would have had her being hit by a falling chandelier. Everyone was glad they could come together over outside barbeques as they cooked up the contents of their now useless freezers.
I saw the damaged freeways, and the impassible areas. When someone said "you can't get there from here" they really meant it.
Bernie and I have had quite a few conversations over the past few years about evacuations and isolation. Just in case you are interested, here are some of the things we have learned:
1. Have a rolling suit case filled with necessities.
(It is really hard to think clearly in an emergency. Don't wait to think through and assemble this until the moment it is needed...you will forget important items! Stock the case way ahead of need.)
Include a few hundred dollars in small bills; in a crisis situation stores will not be able to use
plastic card readers or make change.
Have a list ready of things that you will need to grab: medicine, family heirlooms/jewelry, camera chips (I never wipe my chips now...I know I can carry chips but not necessarily my computer or albums)
Have key phone numbers and addresses and significant papers (birth certificate, passport, deeds, bank acct numbers) listed and stowed in waterproof bags. Make copies, then add the originals to the list of things to grab.
Have DETAILED maps of the area up to 100 miles. Trust me: Main road gridlock in emergencies, only knowing alternate routes will enable to you get out with minimum gas usage.
Have basic hygiene kits: waterless cleaners, soap, toothbrush/paste, sunscreen, pain killers, band aids, anti-infection creams, toilet paper....
Water purification tablets
Matches, flashlight, candles
Can opener
Knife/scissor
Some high calorie dense foods that are small.
Work gloves. Duct tape. Cap with bill. Extra socks, underwear.
You can find various lists on the Internet...and it is interesting to compare what is suggested.
If possible, ask if you can have a two month supply of all prescriptions. One goes in the roll on, and rotates with each prescription fill.
Once you figure out what you think you would absolutely need to survive in an evacuation situation, pack your rolling case. Add food, pet food if desired. Add a back pack for each person.
Check to see make sure you can lift the case into your car. (No guarantee that the man of the house will be home when the need arises.) If needed, you can unpack and repack once you have lifted the case.
Add sleeping bag, more clothes, more food, more water...etc etc.
Once the absolute necessities of the case is loaded, you can add to the load until you must leave. Remember...gridlock happens. Evacuation spaces fill. Don't be the last one out of Dodge!
2. Have a backpack filled with necessities.
This is a subset of what is in the rolling case. Figure out how much you can actually carry on your back. Make a list; store the list in the rolling case. If the roads are shot, you might have to hike out. You might be able to bike out (motor or pedal power) in which case a back pack is your best bet.
3. Have supplies for at least a week in your house.
Water, food, meds.
Think about doing without power.
Think about doing without water.
Think seasonally: what if it was winter? Summer?
That scenario isn't too troubling...until you stretch it a bit. Water isn't just for drinking. Think about it for a bit. How will toileting be managed? Washing bodies and utensils?
How would it be to be without power or water for a month? Could you stay, or would you needd to leave? Where could you go?
Or what if where you are was inaccessible for a month? Washed out roads...broken roads...
Remember: If you don't have power, neither does the grocery store or any place else that supplies goods and services. If you can't get out...don't plan on anyone getting to you anytime soon.
Kansas City has just one of many emergency plan out in cyberland. You can look at their guidelines here.
How crazy could it get with an earthquake situation? I remember reading about how Alaska had the earth split open, houses would fall deep into the opening and the split would close, the house never to be seen again.
The New Madrid Earthquakes of 1811 and 1812 were felt over 50,000 miles, and cause the Mississippi River to run backwards from Louisiana, the shaking rang church bells as far away as Boston and the rattling was felt from Louisiana to Toronto Canada. It is felt that the quakes would have registered at 8.2.
The fault that shook back then is still being monitored, and geologists have reason to think that it could shake again at any time...only this time it will impact major cities instead of unsettled areas. In the next 50 years there is a 25-40% chance of a 6.0 earthquake occurring in the same now densely populated area.
Between ice storms, fire storms, earthquakes, volcanoes, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods (dam failures happen...) electrical grid break downs, water treatment plant failures, toxic spills, economic/political turmoil...well, not to sound like an End Times gloom and doomer, but really... stuff happens.
Personally, I'd rather be one of the prepared people. I'd rather be someone helping, instead of needing help.
And if you live in a rural area and figure you are pretty safe?
Think a minute about where all the people in the big city closest to you will be going if an emergency hits.
It can happen. I saw it happen personally. You may be suddenly called upon to shelter a family in need. There just are not enough hotels in any area to house everyone from one city.
Are you ready for that?
Maybe you could be.
Personally, I think we all should be...as much as we are able.
Lately I've been having earthquake buzz brain. Lately I find myself checking the news, checking the quake maps. My parents live right on top of a major fault line in San Diego; we live on another major fault line in Utah, and memories of the 9.2 "Good Friday" Alaskan earthquake of 1964 and Santa Cruz area earthquake of the late 1980's still leave me with a sense of awe at what the earth can do.
The Alaskan earthquake had a rippling effect down the western United States coastline. My husband remembers being in Washington state and watching a school bus rattle on the road, then tip over.
I remember being evacuated.
It was the first time I had to consider what I would take with me on a moment's notice. Later I got to think through the question when evacuation due to a storm was required. (I quickly learned that I actually could not take all my photo albums!)
Since then my thinking has enlarged: not only do I consider what I would take with me in a car at a moment's notice (think wild fire, toxic spill), I also think about what I would take if I couldn't take a car. I think about what I would need to stay put for awhile without access to water or grocery store goods. I think about what those scenes would be like in summer and winter. I think about what it would be like to flee or stay in cases of natural disasters, and also menacing situations involving people.
I think about what Bernie and I and the cats would need in each situation.
My girlfriend lived through the 6.5 earthquake known as Loma Prieta. Her neighborhood clung together, cooking outside, and waiting for word from loved ones. She marveled that she had just come in one door and not another, as the other doorway usage would have had her being hit by a falling chandelier. Everyone was glad they could come together over outside barbeques as they cooked up the contents of their now useless freezers.
I saw the damaged freeways, and the impassible areas. When someone said "you can't get there from here" they really meant it.
Bernie and I have had quite a few conversations over the past few years about evacuations and isolation. Just in case you are interested, here are some of the things we have learned:
1. Have a rolling suit case filled with necessities.
(It is really hard to think clearly in an emergency. Don't wait to think through and assemble this until the moment it is needed...you will forget important items! Stock the case way ahead of need.)
Include a few hundred dollars in small bills; in a crisis situation stores will not be able to use
plastic card readers or make change.
Have a list ready of things that you will need to grab: medicine, family heirlooms/jewelry, camera chips (I never wipe my chips now...I know I can carry chips but not necessarily my computer or albums)
Have key phone numbers and addresses and significant papers (birth certificate, passport, deeds, bank acct numbers) listed and stowed in waterproof bags. Make copies, then add the originals to the list of things to grab.
Have DETAILED maps of the area up to 100 miles. Trust me: Main road gridlock in emergencies, only knowing alternate routes will enable to you get out with minimum gas usage.
Have basic hygiene kits: waterless cleaners, soap, toothbrush/paste, sunscreen, pain killers, band aids, anti-infection creams, toilet paper....
Water purification tablets
Matches, flashlight, candles
Can opener
Knife/scissor
Some high calorie dense foods that are small.
Work gloves. Duct tape. Cap with bill. Extra socks, underwear.
You can find various lists on the Internet...and it is interesting to compare what is suggested.
If possible, ask if you can have a two month supply of all prescriptions. One goes in the roll on, and rotates with each prescription fill.
Once you figure out what you think you would absolutely need to survive in an evacuation situation, pack your rolling case. Add food, pet food if desired. Add a back pack for each person.
Check to see make sure you can lift the case into your car. (No guarantee that the man of the house will be home when the need arises.) If needed, you can unpack and repack once you have lifted the case.
Add sleeping bag, more clothes, more food, more water...etc etc.
Once the absolute necessities of the case is loaded, you can add to the load until you must leave. Remember...gridlock happens. Evacuation spaces fill. Don't be the last one out of Dodge!
2. Have a backpack filled with necessities.
This is a subset of what is in the rolling case. Figure out how much you can actually carry on your back. Make a list; store the list in the rolling case. If the roads are shot, you might have to hike out. You might be able to bike out (motor or pedal power) in which case a back pack is your best bet.
3. Have supplies for at least a week in your house.
Water, food, meds.
Think about doing without power.
Think about doing without water.
Think seasonally: what if it was winter? Summer?
That scenario isn't too troubling...until you stretch it a bit. Water isn't just for drinking. Think about it for a bit. How will toileting be managed? Washing bodies and utensils?
How would it be to be without power or water for a month? Could you stay, or would you needd to leave? Where could you go?
Or what if where you are was inaccessible for a month? Washed out roads...broken roads...
Remember: If you don't have power, neither does the grocery store or any place else that supplies goods and services. If you can't get out...don't plan on anyone getting to you anytime soon.
Kansas City has just one of many emergency plan out in cyberland. You can look at their guidelines here.
How crazy could it get with an earthquake situation? I remember reading about how Alaska had the earth split open, houses would fall deep into the opening and the split would close, the house never to be seen again.
The New Madrid Earthquakes of 1811 and 1812 were felt over 50,000 miles, and cause the Mississippi River to run backwards from Louisiana, the shaking rang church bells as far away as Boston and the rattling was felt from Louisiana to Toronto Canada. It is felt that the quakes would have registered at 8.2.
The fault that shook back then is still being monitored, and geologists have reason to think that it could shake again at any time...only this time it will impact major cities instead of unsettled areas. In the next 50 years there is a 25-40% chance of a 6.0 earthquake occurring in the same now densely populated area.
Between ice storms, fire storms, earthquakes, volcanoes, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods (dam failures happen...) electrical grid break downs, water treatment plant failures, toxic spills, economic/political turmoil...well, not to sound like an End Times gloom and doomer, but really... stuff happens.
Personally, I'd rather be one of the prepared people. I'd rather be someone helping, instead of needing help.
And if you live in a rural area and figure you are pretty safe?
Think a minute about where all the people in the big city closest to you will be going if an emergency hits.
It can happen. I saw it happen personally. You may be suddenly called upon to shelter a family in need. There just are not enough hotels in any area to house everyone from one city.
Are you ready for that?
Maybe you could be.
Personally, I think we all should be...as much as we are able.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Oh blah, oh rats. Help me, Obama!
Ugh...I just heard on the news that we had the worst air quality in the USA over the weekend. The grey dingy sky sank to the valley floor, then built up until the mountain ranges were nearly invisible. The morning temperatures were in the teens, but on the brighter side, it was warm enough in the weak sunlight that we could sit on the deck to read the Sunday paper after church.Jeff warned us that January didn't have a lot going for it here. It would be cold, with very little snow, and what is called "inversions" which is some sort of atmospheric trick that creates the terrible air quality. Thankfully, we live above the inversion, a fact that was noted as a highly desirable feature back when we were house hunting.
The snow on our property is still deep, but very icy, and shows deer tracks in front and a series of rat tracks in back.
The Norwegian rats dug seeds into the lawn over the summer, and now they are digging them up again, and leaving a brownish smooth half pipe trail through the snow.Bernie says he will have to trap them soon, now that we can clearly see two of them at work. The little brown rats look up at us with black eyes, faces that are not rat like at all. For awhile we wondered if they were some kind of ferret or other creature, but their rat tails were unmistakable.
We hesitate to set traps; cats and birds frequent the yard, and it would be horrible to find Missy or Gracie or any of the other local cats with smashed toes or muzzle. Everyone that I know who has used rat traps usually find a very much alive rat trapped in the end...and have to dispatch the rat in a bucket of water or with a hammer. Ugh all over again.
But rats WILL breed, and the idea of having a rat family taking up residency in our garage or worse, somehow in our house, is motivation to face the music and get the job done.
(Lovella...if your boys are interested in a trip to SLC, they can revisit their ratting days and get some good skiing in as well...free lodging on us!)
Thankfully there is always something to laugh about if you look hard enough. The Best Parody Song of 2009 (as named by the iconic Dr. Demento) was penned by two lads from SLC, winning out over other songs penned by Weird Al himself.
So without further ado...here is it is, your daily laugh to get you through another grey cold January day:
SAVE ME, OBAMA
Parody of the Beatles' "Lady Madonna"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion
PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND
Macy Lund: Christmas Wishes
Robert Lund: Everything Else
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion
PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND
Macy Lund: Christmas Wishes
Robert Lund: Everything Else
(sung to the tune of Lady Madonna)
Save me, Obama
Stimulate my life
Please improve my credit, my job, my wife
Bail out my bar tab
Subsidize my rent
Isn't that the point of the government?
Bills and banks and Baghdad are a bummer
Please appoint a breast-enhancement czar
Tell GM I really need a Hummer
And a new car!
Save me, Obama
Fix my abs and hair
Buy my Frappucinos with Medicare
Spank all the bankers
Bring a lasting peace
To the Yanks and Red Sox and Middle East
Stop Shiites from settling fights the mob way
Find me jobs in Fiji and St Croix
Purge the graft from hell-holes like Zimbabwe
And Illinois!
Save me, Obama
Find a cure for gas
Leave your carbon footprint on OPEC's ass
Hug North Korea
Shoot hoops with Iran
Can we ask for everything? Yes we can!
Make each Christian, Muslim, Jew, and Mormon
All join hands and sing Give Peace a Chance
Ending death and spam and global warmin'
And menstrual cramps!
Save me, Obama
Left and Right agree
This is now the United States of Me!
...and I want a pony...and an iPhone...and a two-state solution in Gaza...and a reintroduction of the Dodo bird to its native habitat...and an end to hunger in sub-Saharan Africa...and a weekly six-figure allowance...
Save me, Obama
Stimulate my life
Please improve my credit, my job, my wife
Bail out my bar tab
Subsidize my rent
Isn't that the point of the government?
Bills and banks and Baghdad are a bummer
Please appoint a breast-enhancement czar
Tell GM I really need a Hummer
And a new car!
Save me, Obama
Fix my abs and hair
Buy my Frappucinos with Medicare
Spank all the bankers
Bring a lasting peace
To the Yanks and Red Sox and Middle East
Stop Shiites from settling fights the mob way
Find me jobs in Fiji and St Croix
Purge the graft from hell-holes like Zimbabwe
And Illinois!
Save me, Obama
Find a cure for gas
Leave your carbon footprint on OPEC's ass
Hug North Korea
Shoot hoops with Iran
Can we ask for everything? Yes we can!
Make each Christian, Muslim, Jew, and Mormon
All join hands and sing Give Peace a Chance
Ending death and spam and global warmin'
And menstrual cramps!
Save me, Obama
Left and Right agree
This is now the United States of Me!
...and I want a pony...and an iPhone...and a two-state solution in Gaza...and a reintroduction of the Dodo bird to its native habitat...and an end to hunger in sub-Saharan Africa...and a weekly six-figure allowance...
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Need a Change?
New decade... and perhaps you are thinking about trying something new?
After all, you are never too old to learn something new if you set your mind to it, right?
While the scene above looks quite old, it actually is a fairly recent bit of art painted on the side of a building three blocks from where I work.
It serves to advertise the business that is undertaken inside the building's wall.
Quite eye catching advertising, no?
Inside the building: a violin making school.
Bet you've never seen one of those before.
Bet you never even thought about such a school before.
Bet you are now sort of thinking about how it would be to be a violin making student.
Working with wood and glues and shaping tools.
The profession of violin making is centuries old. Modern technology has figured out why some violins have such remarkable sound each time they are played, century after century, while other violins, while equally well made, deliver a less lush tone.
(Hint: it has to do with the growth ring size of the tree that the wood comes from....)
Next door is a shop where violins and similar stringed instruments could be purchased.
While the school does not allow visitors, the shop is happy to show you around.
The tiny child size violins are just amazing...barely larger than a paper back book.
They look like toys...but they aren't. They are finely crafted musical instruments, and are priced to reflect that fact.
The musical artist needs a place to demonstrate their skills, or to debut new musical compositions before family and friends, and interested music lovers.
I'll be watching for the January calendar to be posted.
A short walk over a lunch break and maybe I could take in a recital from time to time.
Just for the joy of listening to those who choose to play.
I'm not looking for a career change to violin maker this year (although SLC has TWO such schools...image that!)
But I do think I would benefit from more live music.
I think that would be a change I could really enjoy.
The BEST column of 2010...and maybe the whole upcoming decade!
This is the BEST article about Tiger Woods and Christianity. Do NOT miss this!
(With full hopes that Ann can forgive me for copying this masterpiece....it is just too good NOT to spread across the Internet in any way one can.)
IF YOU CAN FIND A BETTER DEAL, TAKE IT!
by Ann Coulter
January 6, 2010
Someone mentioned Christianity on television recently and liberals reacted with their usual howls of rage and blinking incomprehension.
On a Fox News panel discussing Tiger Woods, Brit Hume said, perfectly accurately:
"The extent to which he can recover, it seems to me, depends on his faith. He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger would be, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world."
Hume's words, being 100 percent factually correct, sent liberals into a tizzy of sputtering rage, once again illustrating liberals' copious ignorance of Christianity. (Also illustrating the words of the Bible: "How is it you do not understand me when I speak? It is because you cannot bear to listen to my words." John 8:43.)
In The Washington Post, Tom Shales demanded that Hume apologize, saying he had "dissed about half a billion Buddhists on the planet."
Is Buddhism about forgiveness? Because, if so, Buddhists had better start demanding corrections from every book, magazine article and blog posting ever written on the subject, which claims Buddhists don't believe in God, but try to become their own gods.
I can't imagine that anyone thinks Tiger's problem was that he didn't sufficiently think of himself as a god, especially after that final putt in the Arnold Palmer Invitational last year.
In light of Shales' warning Hume about "what people are saying" about him, I hope Hume's a Christian, but that's not apparent from his inarguable description of Christianity. Of course, given the reaction to his remarks, apparently one has to be a regular New Testament scholar to have so much as a passing familiarity with the basic concept of Christianity.
On MSNBC, David Shuster invoked the "separation of church and television" (a phrase that also doesn't appear in the Constitution), bitterly complaining that Hume had brought up Christianity "out-of-the-blue" on "a political talk show."
Why on earth would Hume mention religion while discussing a public figure who had fallen from grace and was in need of redemption and forgiveness? Boy, talk about coming out of left field!
What religion -- what topic -- induces this sort of babbling idiocy? (If liberals really want to keep people from hearing about God, they should give Him his own show on MSNBC.)
Most perplexing was columnist Dan Savage's indignant accusation that Hume was claiming that Christianity "offers the best deal -- it gives you the get-out-of-adultery-free card that other religions just can't."
In fact, that's exactly what Christianity does. It's the best deal in the universe. (I know it seems strange that a self-described atheist and "radical sex advice columnist faggot" like Savage would miss the central point of Christianity, but there it is.)
God sent his only son to get the crap beaten out of him, die for our sins and rise from the dead. If you believe that, you're in. Your sins are washed away from you -- sins even worse than adultery! -- because of the cross.
"He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross." Colossians 2:14.
Surely you remember the cross, liberals -- the symbol banned by ACLU lawsuits from public property throughout the land?
Christianity is simultaneously the easiest religion in the world and the hardest religion in the world.
In the no-frills, economy-class version, you don't need a church, a teacher, candles, incense, special food or clothing; you don't need to pass a test or prove yourself in any way. All you'll need is a Bible (in order to grasp the amazing deal you're getting) and probably a water baptism, though even that's disputed.
You can be washing the dishes or walking your dog or just sitting there minding your business hating Susan Sarandon and accept that God sent his only son to die for your sins and rise from the dead ... and you're in!
"Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9.
If you do that, every rotten, sinful thing you've ever done is gone from you. You're every bit as much a Christian as the pope or Billy Graham.
No fine print, no "your mileage may vary," no blackout dates. God ought to do a TV spot: "I'm God Almighty, and if you can find a better deal than the one I'm offering, take it."
The Gospel makes this point approximately 1,000 times. Here are a few examples at random:
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:8.
"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23.
In a boiling rage, liberals constantly accuse Christians of being "judgmental." No, we're relieved.
Christianity is also the hardest religion in the world because, if you believe Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead, you have no choice but to give your life entirely over to Him. No more sexual promiscuity, no lying, no cheating, no stealing, no killing inconvenient old people or unborn babies -- no doing what all the other kids do.
And no more caring what the world thinks of you -- because, as Jesus warned in a prophecy constantly fulfilled by liberals: The world will hate you.
With Christianity, your sins are forgiven, the slate is wiped clean and your eternal life is guaranteed through nothing you did yourself, even though you don't deserve it. It's the best deal in the universe.
COPYRIGHT 2009 ANN COULTER
DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK
1130 Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106
(With full hopes that Ann can forgive me for copying this masterpiece....it is just too good NOT to spread across the Internet in any way one can.)
IF YOU CAN FIND A BETTER DEAL, TAKE IT!
by Ann Coulter
January 6, 2010
Someone mentioned Christianity on television recently and liberals reacted with their usual howls of rage and blinking incomprehension.
On a Fox News panel discussing Tiger Woods, Brit Hume said, perfectly accurately:
"The extent to which he can recover, it seems to me, depends on his faith. He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger would be, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world."
Hume's words, being 100 percent factually correct, sent liberals into a tizzy of sputtering rage, once again illustrating liberals' copious ignorance of Christianity. (Also illustrating the words of the Bible: "How is it you do not understand me when I speak? It is because you cannot bear to listen to my words." John 8:43.)
In The Washington Post, Tom Shales demanded that Hume apologize, saying he had "dissed about half a billion Buddhists on the planet."
Is Buddhism about forgiveness? Because, if so, Buddhists had better start demanding corrections from every book, magazine article and blog posting ever written on the subject, which claims Buddhists don't believe in God, but try to become their own gods.
I can't imagine that anyone thinks Tiger's problem was that he didn't sufficiently think of himself as a god, especially after that final putt in the Arnold Palmer Invitational last year.
In light of Shales' warning Hume about "what people are saying" about him, I hope Hume's a Christian, but that's not apparent from his inarguable description of Christianity. Of course, given the reaction to his remarks, apparently one has to be a regular New Testament scholar to have so much as a passing familiarity with the basic concept of Christianity.
On MSNBC, David Shuster invoked the "separation of church and television" (a phrase that also doesn't appear in the Constitution), bitterly complaining that Hume had brought up Christianity "out-of-the-blue" on "a political talk show."
Why on earth would Hume mention religion while discussing a public figure who had fallen from grace and was in need of redemption and forgiveness? Boy, talk about coming out of left field!
What religion -- what topic -- induces this sort of babbling idiocy? (If liberals really want to keep people from hearing about God, they should give Him his own show on MSNBC.)
Most perplexing was columnist Dan Savage's indignant accusation that Hume was claiming that Christianity "offers the best deal -- it gives you the get-out-of-adultery-free card that other religions just can't."
In fact, that's exactly what Christianity does. It's the best deal in the universe. (I know it seems strange that a self-described atheist and "radical sex advice columnist faggot" like Savage would miss the central point of Christianity, but there it is.)
God sent his only son to get the crap beaten out of him, die for our sins and rise from the dead. If you believe that, you're in. Your sins are washed away from you -- sins even worse than adultery! -- because of the cross.
"He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross." Colossians 2:14.
Surely you remember the cross, liberals -- the symbol banned by ACLU lawsuits from public property throughout the land?
Christianity is simultaneously the easiest religion in the world and the hardest religion in the world.
In the no-frills, economy-class version, you don't need a church, a teacher, candles, incense, special food or clothing; you don't need to pass a test or prove yourself in any way. All you'll need is a Bible (in order to grasp the amazing deal you're getting) and probably a water baptism, though even that's disputed.
You can be washing the dishes or walking your dog or just sitting there minding your business hating Susan Sarandon and accept that God sent his only son to die for your sins and rise from the dead ... and you're in!
"Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9.
If you do that, every rotten, sinful thing you've ever done is gone from you. You're every bit as much a Christian as the pope or Billy Graham.
No fine print, no "your mileage may vary," no blackout dates. God ought to do a TV spot: "I'm God Almighty, and if you can find a better deal than the one I'm offering, take it."
The Gospel makes this point approximately 1,000 times. Here are a few examples at random:
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:8.
"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23.
In a boiling rage, liberals constantly accuse Christians of being "judgmental." No, we're relieved.
Christianity is also the hardest religion in the world because, if you believe Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead, you have no choice but to give your life entirely over to Him. No more sexual promiscuity, no lying, no cheating, no stealing, no killing inconvenient old people or unborn babies -- no doing what all the other kids do.
And no more caring what the world thinks of you -- because, as Jesus warned in a prophecy constantly fulfilled by liberals: The world will hate you.
With Christianity, your sins are forgiven, the slate is wiped clean and your eternal life is guaranteed through nothing you did yourself, even though you don't deserve it. It's the best deal in the universe.
COPYRIGHT 2009 ANN COULTER
DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK
1130 Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106
Monday, January 04, 2010
Most of it was all happening at the zoo...
Sunday afternoon.
Sunny weather.
Need to get out and walk.
What to do?
Go see The Hogle Zoo.
Why?
Because it was there!
More specifically, because I have been wanting to see Baby Zuri since she was born in August.
(Now how Mom Christie got mixed up with a guy from Pittsburgh...well, I think it was a long distance romance to say the least. She is probably still wondering how she got pregnant!)
Next to the elephant enclosure was this little sign.
Apparently you pushed a button and got to smell elephant smells.
I've smelled elephant smells...I used to work at the San Diego Zoo. I wouldn't ever go out of my way to push a button to get a snoot full of that odor!
The funniest part? The button had been pushed so often it was broken. I wonder how many young boys had taken turns pushing the button, smelling, and saying EWWWW....
The San Diego zoo never has zebras in the snow. Hogle does...score a point for that lovely scene!
I would guess there were maybe 30 people visiting the zoo while I was there. We tended to keep bumping into each other...it felt rather chummy.
The girl in the rosy colored jacket made me smile. She skipped and pranced and begged to go see the "Polar Berries" next.
Apparently the Hogle Zoo doesn't have Polar Berries, or Polar Bears either for that matter.
(I later asked if I had missed seeing the hippos. I was informed that their one and only hippo "Moe" was wintering in a zoo with better facilities and three flirtation female hippos. I think Moe must be very, very happy this winter...)
The penguins were having a fine day.
I asked them what they thought about global warming.
They shook their heads and walked away from me. Interpret that as you will...
Now this is more like it! The menu looked terrific...with lots of Asian foods that would be fun to try.
The area around the tigers and snow leopards was built to mimic a Tibetan village.
Only nicer I suspect. The prayer flags were colorful. Funny... I didn't see any appreciation for other religious practices from other areas.
The snow leopards were really enjoying the sunshine instead of the snow below their perch.
Isn't that a really lovely tail dangling there? Those two sleep scrunched faces look a lot like Tigs when he is sleeping.
(I admit it...I would LOVE to go scritch those kitties and sleep with them. )
Mother Tiger....
Had every reason to be zonked out.
Triplet boys...and they apparently are now at that exhausting age where they get into EVERYTHING!
I watched as one of the boys turned and eyed the small tree, put out a tentative paw, and then gingerly tried to climb up a branch.
In a flash Mom Tiger rolled over and was facing the cub with a "You get down from there RIGHT NOW!" expression that I knew all too well from my own years of raising a boy.
Yup, she had eyes on the back of her head all right when it came to seeing potentially foolish behavior.
The giraffe barn had two stories so you could go upstairs and be at eye level with the critters.
Upside down Christmas trees had been hung about to amuse and feed the giraffes. I wish I could say the piney scent was released, instead, truth be told, I don't think I have ever been in a more revolting smelling barn in my life. The floors were clean, but pee-yu. If the scent could be bottled it could be used for a miracle cure for appetite.
I guess I had never been in an enclosed area with giraffes before. Next time I will know better!
Another critter that seemed to be interested at looking at me.
Nice bird...I do like birds with red feathers.
Awww...isn't he sweet? Wonder why they didn't give him (her?) a name.
If it is a girl I think they should name her "Anna".
Like "Anna and the King of Siam".
It's the baby Siamese Crocodiles Mom!!!!
And she is smirking because she doesn't have to put up with her baby's hijinks's like the Mama Tiger does.
This little miss was fascinated by the crocodile. It positively gave me the willies. She was so fearless...and I felt like grabbing her away so the croc couldn't get her.
Oh how deep our primitive instincts go.
More cats that looked like regular old cats to me. They touched noses, swatted at each other and generally behaved just like Tiggie and Hart do.
Hi there! (A sweet little non-venomous king snake coming at me for a closer look).
The kangaroo exhibit was next to the exhibits I showed in the last pictures. They would bounce up and look in from outside while us humans would be looking outside from the inside. Sometimes it was hard to tell who was on exhibit: us, the kangaroos or the animal inside the exhibit.
All zoos seem to have peacocks. And they all seem to enjoy snitching sandwiches from unsuspecting hands. I never get tired of their amazing beauty.
Hogel had wild turkeys on the grounds as well. I'll have to ask my dad what is the deal with that tassle on their chests.
I was really ready to kick myself when I realized that the last night for Zoo Lights was on New Years Eve...and I had missed the event. All over the zoo were elaborate sculptures of animals, some of which obviously were animated on times while others were three dimensional. The last three years the zoo has had the sculptures up during the Christmas season, but are not sure if they will continue the tradition. If they do...it will be at the top of my Christmas list of things to go see next year.
Now that's a totally different door handle for ya!
And that looks like a great place to eat. I had stopped at one little snack shop and was amazed at their prices: Three dollars for a hamburger, two for a hot dog. The San Diego Zoo charges a lot more than that for chow.
Speaking of chow...
When I first saw the exhibit, I thought the winged creatures were sparrows, then butterflies.
It was really dark, and my flash reflected off the glass. Sorry the pictures weren't better. Maybe you had better come see them in person....(smile)
The zoo had a playground too.
Wouldn't this egg make a great place to take a kid's picture every year, in summer, as a naked baby at first?
The bald eagle ruffled his feathers at me as if he was cold. I found that gesture unconvincing after seeing his brethern in Alaska. This ain't cold, birdy dude. This is just Utah!
The San Diego Zoo's horticultural collection is worth more than their animal collection. The Hogle Zoo had interesting flora as well.I'd like to know what this plant is called with the red clumps at the end of spindly branches.
A closer look...
I'm thinking it might not be my last visit...
I'd love to be a zoo keeper for a day. I'll be happy to do anything...anything at all!
Well, except sweep out the giraffe barn that is.
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