Squirrel-proof bird feeder my fanny!

We have had an Old Yankee Squirrel proof bird feeder since Christmas (a gift) and have been congratulating ourselves that at last the squirrels have been outsmarted.
A little spring causes a door to slide shut on the bird seed if anything heavier than a bird lands on the feeder.
This morning Bernie called out "Look! The squirrels have figured out how eat at the bird feeder."
And indeed, by hanging upside down on to the wires surrounding the cylinder holding the feed, the little buggers can reach into the windows and stuff their little cheeks.

Alas. Oh well. The squirrels are awful cute.

You don't want to go any deeper on this blog post if you don't like snakes.
Seriously.

I am not kidding. Go do something else.

If you think you just want to read, but not see the pictures, I will put five ***** at the end of the writing part before the pictures start.








So this afternoon, just minutes ago really, Bernie and I were sitting in our living room after our walk, drinking some water, when suddenly Bernie YELLS "OH MY GOSH!! OH MY GOSH!!!"

I start yelling "WHAT IS IT???"

"LOOK AT THE BIRD FEEDER!!!!!"

(Various sounds of horror from both of us.)

"GET THE CAMERA!"

(Amazingly I do....fire off three shots before the snake drops to the ground.)

"Here, YOU take the pictures. Wait, let me get the video camera"

(I race to the closet for the camera, and hand it to Bernie who heads outside to film.)

"WHAT IS IT??? IS IT VENOMOUS?"

(I run to the computer, putting in the search terms "Texas Water Moccosin" in Google images, knowing I am spelling it wrong and trusting Google to correct my spelling. I'm looking at snake pictures, then I run outside to look again at this monster slithering through my ferns.)

"I'm going to have to kill it."

"What kind is it?"

(We race back to the computer, and decide it is a Diamond Back Water Snake, a big snake that is thankfully non-venomous.)

"I'll capture it in the trash can and take it down to the woods."

(I stay inside.)

"Go get the lid to the trash can, I've got him."

(I take a peek...focusing on the head. Race back inside. Yup, it is a Diamond Back Water snake. Bernie caught the snake by its tail, put it alive in the trash can, then wheeled the trash can down the street, into the woods, and down by the lake where he released the snake. The snake was almost six feet long.)

Beware: Pictures below*****

Moral of the story:

You friggin' squirrels want to up the ante on the bird feeder?

Just you wait until you see the TEXAS version of squirrel proof!

With the exception of one tiny green grass snake and one small stripped garter snake, I have never seen a snake in our yard or in our immediate neighborhood.

If Bernie hadn't been home, I would have immediately gone to a hotel and called a real estate agent.

I still might.

The last few weeks the cats have periodically gone crazy at the window, meowing and looking really hard out at the ferns. I wonder if they were seeing the snake?