A "Mad Hatter's Luncheon" it was entitled and I knew I didn't want to attend.
I know something about any hat event that is entitled "Mad Hatters."
It is invariably an excuse for women to go wild with glue guns, feathers, and junk from their kid's toys chest all in the name of making a funny hat.
The results inevitably is pictures in the newspaper of women looking ridiculous because they don't have the poise or self confidence to own their own beauty. Instead they make a joke of themselves, and everyone laughs at them, and then the next time someone mentions hats all that can be remembered are the ludicrous hats.
Now I am a huge fan of witty hats. Classic hat designers have always made witty interesting and stylish hats.
But trust me on this...those hats do not involve flashing lights, toy Indians and assorted garishly colored thrift shop discoveries.
I regretted that it was to be a Mad Hatter luncheon, because I really did want to go see the fashion show.
Mr. B. felt totally differently about my decision. "You must go!" he proclaimed several times as he noted announcements published in our local paper. "Get some business cards printed up, wear your Easter hat and GO!"
Laura agreed that I must go, and agreed to attend with me.
I want nothing to do with anything that makes women go out of their way to mock millinery.
But....this contest was to be judged for hats in the category of :
"Most Humorous" (sigh)
So we put on our hats and went to the luncheon today.
See the winning hats below!
Why not kick off your shoes, peel your earrings and necklace and rings off too?
Shed all of your accessories at once and get comfy...or better yet, why not wear things that don't bother you in the first place?
One judge (male) asked the other judge (female) if by Ensemble did they mean group.
Neither of them were sure what the term ensemble meant in this instance.
(This was my first clue that the judges were not very serious about their job.)
Since there was already a category for Best Group, I assured them that in this case it meant how well the entire outfit (hat, dress, jewelry, shoes, purse) went together.
I promise I said it with a winsome helpful tone.
I dithered about going with Best Ensemble, since my hat was made to go with my outfit.
A decision was handed down: You could only enter in one category.
One judge said to me "Nice flower. It goes with your dress."
I said "Thank you. I made the hat to go with the dress, made the flowers and the hat both. I also made my daughter's hat and flowers."
The judges said "oh."
They were both seated.
As they looked up at us standing over them, I wondered how they could possibly be judging our hats.
Laura said we both should enter Most Beautiful Hat category.
It killed me to later learn only two people entered for ensemble. I could have at least come in third!
Later in the luncheon the Master of Ceremony encouraged all the ladies who had entered the Hat Contests to be sure to let the judges know who they were in terms of "dropping names."
"Let them know if you are somebody's daughter, or have a local business, or want to bribe them."
NO ONE LAUGHED.
Yes...the three hats in the picture above!
A close up of the First Place winner for the Most Beautiful Hat.
(Remember, the male judge was seated as he made his decision about the hat. See the group shot above for details!)
Yup, it was the First place award winning, picture in the newspaper flat out gorgeous...hat that won!
And she was an award winner last year too, for her hat made of fresh tulips in a flower pot, that she entitled "Pot Head."
So creative isn't she?
(Actually she is very nice, and owns a local floral shop...the flowers on the table were lovely.)
I wonder if she knows about the San Diego OTL tournament? She should think about trying out for Miss Emerson. I'd bet she'd win that too! (That's a San Diego insiders joke...)
A close up of Laura's hat. It was the hat I made to wear last Easter....
(No, I guess it really isn't that beautiful compared to the other winners.)
I did think it was cute that group of tennis jocks even entered the contest actually. The whole group got their picture taken for the newspaper.
I handed my business card to the hat collector and the lady who presented the fashion show. Other than that I spent the time at the event complimenting ladies on their hats and attire, and avoiding Laura's elbow as I occasionally forgot to bite my tongue about joke hats.
One woman asked if we two were an ensemble.
I guess we were.
It just depends on which definition you use:
A unit or group of complementary parts that contribute to a single effect, especially:
A coordinated outfit or costume.
A coordinated set of furniture.
A group of musicians, singers, dancers, or actors who perform together: an improvisational theater ensemble; a woodwind ensemble.
Boy was he surprised when she picked him up real suddenly.