Thursday, November 15, 2007

War and Peace, the feline edition

This is not our cat.
This is our neighbor who lives down the street's cat.
He looks a lot like our Tigs, but he isn't Tigs at all.
His name is Giovanni.
We know this because he wears a green collar, and it says so, right there on his little dangly tag.
Giovanni likes to walk along the back fence between our neighbor's yard. He saunters in, slowly waving his thick orange tail. He always takes his time getting here.
Tiggie just shrugs when he sees him coming. Tiggs likes to keep things simple.

Eh, you are orange. Orange is good. Whatever.

Hart on the other hand considers this to be an all out invasion, an assault on our sacred land.
Our borders have been breached! The enemy is upon us! All out war must be declared!

You can tell when Giovanni comes visiting: Hart goes full voice, his vocal scales soar up and down, hitting ear piercing high notes and heart stopping low notes, and he throws in a few kitty cusses just for good measure.

Then the two of them square off and things really cut loose in the yard.

This goes on just about every day. It's a cat feud that seems to have no end.

Near as I can figure the official Gray Cat Foreign Species Relations Policy goes like this:

Good To Have Visit My Yard:

1. Possums
2. Raccoons
3. Green/Brown Anoles (they change colors and are delicious too....)
4. Grey squirrels
5. Small black garter snakes
6. Enormous water snakes
7. Box turtles
8. Green Frogs
9. Brown Toads
10. Assorted butterflies
11. Spiders, also assorted
12. Wood peckers
13. Wrens
14. Blue Jays
15. Red Cardinals
16. Carolina chickadees
17. Hawks
18. Grey Titmouse
19. Assorted humans of various sizes, colors and age
20. Beige Geckos

Not Allowed To Visit My Yard:

1. Orange cats with green collars named Giovanni.

(A miniture orange rose in bloom right now amidst the battlefield.)

The weary soldier reports to his Commander for debriefing. The enemy has once more been scattered, our borders are once more secured.
Time for a cup of joe, a nap, and perhaps there will be a little catnip this evening to celebrate the victory.
Good job Feline First Class Hart!
Semper Fi.


Ladygrande said...

I just love your cat stories! And that perfect rose - at this time of year.

Glorious Hats said...

A thoroughly enjoyable read. Thanks.

Otis & Indee said...

How do you feel about elderly german shepherds. I was thinking on catching the train and coming down there for the winter.

Dawn said...

RE/sock monkeys...
I think YOU should take on the sock monkey in one of your hat creations!
Tiggy may be jealous... sock monkey attire?? Well, one son would love a matter of fact, he is planning to wear Black Converse skips with red hearts on the sides.
The other twin? Totally and completely conservative to the max.
Nope- no sock monkeys there.

Vicki said...

How funny! And as I'm writing this, one of Laura's three cats is sitting behind me rubbing her face against my blouse. That would be Willow. She and her litter mate, Lala, are gray-striped tabbies. The male cat, Racer, is solid black except for a white tuft on his neck and one on his right flank. His face is solid black and with his long black nose, he almost looks like a baboon. Those two are watching me closely, since I'm using their mom's computer. I'm beginning to get homesick for my kitty, Miss Spooky. We'll see her sometime Monday night. Ooops...sorry for rambling...;)