Sunday, May 18, 2008

They say I will go home today....

Whew, I never thought I'd be in the hospital for eight days with this. Today I am feeling much better. I actually got an amazing eight hours of sleep last night, uninterrupted by vigilant medical personnel.

The GI doctor said I can safely go home now. We are just waiting for the attending physician (a lung guy...go figure) to drop by and sign my release form. He could show up in the next two minutes or in four hours from now. Who knows. Doctor's rounds have their own mysterious rhythms around here. (Update: I finally got to go home at nine pm Sunday night. Hurrah!)

So we wait, read the Sunday paper, think about how today is much better than last Sunday, and are so thankful for all who prayed for my healing and the people who worked hard to care for me.

There has been no definitive label given to what has been going on with me. A scope of my colon in a few weeks will be needed. Meantime I'll just keep taking antibiotics and protonixs and eating food that is low in sediment. Please pass me the yogurt and buttermilk; aren't I just the luckiest person around... I actually like buttermilk anyway!

They say that laughter is the best medicine. I got a healthy dose yesterday when the local newspaper published the next chapter in the Diasetta Sinkhole story. The news...I laughed so hard I almost fell off the bed.


It seems a seven foot long alligator has been swept into the rapidly filling sinkhole. A "yet unnamed" alligator.

People who were working on dismantling "storage sheds that were teetering on the edge of the crater" (huh? how nuts is that?) saw the gator swimming thirty feet down from the edge of the sinkhole. Water has begun to fill the hole, water both from below the earth and from the surrounding swampy land. An alligator infested swampy land.

Naturally this concerns some people.

The water is highly contaminated with oil. Prepare yourself: the gator may get oil on his skin and eyes. And of course some folk want to see the gator "rescued."

Yeah, right. Ain't gonna happen.

The locals have been willing to admit that they have been sneaking out to the edge of the sinkhole to see the gator swimming in his own private pool. One nineteen year old woman even let the press use her name as she talked about doing such a thing.

Wonder what Bishop will be doing to her? Sure do hope she isn't packing a parasol when he catches up with her.

I can not imagine why the locals are even bothering taking a look-see. One old guy (age 74 according to the article) noted that they had a nine foot gator living right behind an old gas plant in town. Workers used to huck the the gator their left over sandwiches.

Anyway, I figure everyone needs both a laugh and something to think about. Even though there are plenty of unnamed gators around, apparently the sinkhole gator now needs a proper handle. A name to match his fame in these otherwise troubling times.

A few years back it was discovered that an alligator was living in a pond in a park in San Francisco. The local newspaper held a contest to name the critter.

You can guess the name that won, right?

It was a natural; of course he was the GOLDEN Gator.

I'm thinking hard about what they should name the Sinkhole gator. I asked my nurse Eva what name she would give the gator. Without a moment hesitation, she shot back:

"In Louisiana, they'd call him 'Dinner.''

Gal Pal Gail pointed out that since he is already swimming in oil, all they need to do is drop a match and we could have fried gator ready in a jiffy.

It must be all the meds that are slowing down my thought processes. There must be a great name for this beast. Your suggestions are needed. Like I said earlier, laughter is the best medicine. So go ahead...take your best shot at naming this critter.
If you make me laugh your payoff will be knowing you have done your part in helping this sick person feel better.

12 comments:

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

Happy Sunday. I just clicked over here from someone else's blog. I'll say a prayer for your continued healing.

The alligator story is a hoot.

Lin said...

With the thought that some people want to "save the gator," how about Gator-Ade?

I am so glad you get to leave prison....oops, I meant to say, the hospital. Just take as good care of yourself as possible and drink the buttermilk and yoghurt. By the way, I tried a Persian drink called Dhoog that I really thought was delicious. It is made from yoghurt, salt and water. I loved it. It has a really different taste to it...kind of tangy.

Anonymous said...

If I had to name that stupid croc, I'd name him "Boots."
Call him CB Boots for short. Cow Boy Boots.
Mmmmhmm.
Git 'er dun!

Lovella said...

Jill,
Oh my dear. . I do hope that by the time you read this. . you'll be tucked onto your verdanda with Tiggie and Hart welcoming you back.

Sink Hole Sam . . . .
Nice ring to it I think.

I've been practicing my "Down by the bay, where the watermelons grow. . .song. . (for the babes) but I'm going to make a new verse in his honor .. Down by the bay. . .where the alligator roams.. .back to my home. . .I dare not go .. for if I do .. .my mother will say .. Have you ever seen a gator. . in a sinkhole like a crater .. . ?
Yup. . .always looking for new verses.

Vickie said...

Jill,
I'm sorry you've been ill, I'll pray for a speedy recovery and wisdom for the professionals involved. Take care of yourself.

Vicki said...

I'm hoping that you're home by now (Doc & I finally got home last night from yet another weekend at the house).

This story is a hoot! I can't come up with a clever name for that gator right now, but I sure do like Lovella's little ditty. I also like Gail's thinking - toss in a match and have a gator roast (I'm not fond of gator meat, myself).

I don't know why folks are surprised that a gator took up residence in that new pond. They're always on the roam around here looking for their own hole. They even break through pool cages and take up residence in backyard pools! As for feeding them, that's illegal (and dangerous) in Florida!

I'll keep trying to come up with a moniker for the gator...if I do, I'll jump right back over here!

PhantomMinuet said...

"In Louisiana, they'd call him 'Dinner."

Heh.

I'm so glad you're feeling better and getting out of the hospital. I'll keep a good thought for the follow-up.

amyletinsky said...

Glad to hear you're back home! Will continue to pray for recovery. Love the "Dinner" name. In the same vein, I'll go for "Handbag" or more specific, "Coach Gator" http://www.thebudgetfashionista.com/images/coachlegacy_croc.png

That baby has a $10,000 price tag, but oh so chic, n'est ce pas?

lianaleslie said...

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about your illness! I hope you get well soon, and I'm glad you're at least back at home. Take care!

Cristina - madhatter wannabe said...

Jill, what a relief to read that you're all better and back home. I hope they find out what was wrong with you so it doesn't happen again.
How about naming the Gator after the officer that wanted you escorted out of the area? I had fun reading your post about the sinkhole!

Julie said...

Oh, Jill.. I am so thankful that you are better and able to be home again. I do hope that your health will soon be completly restored!!
Lovella left a message for me that you were ill and my prayers were with you !

I love that your sense of humor was not dampened by your lapse in health! Your post made me laugh!!

I'm back from vacation and eager to catch up in my blogging world !

Sara said...

Hi Jill, it's good to hear you are back at home finally....and keeping your sense of humor about you.

I'll be waiting to see what that gator gets christened! Can't seem to come up with anything clever to contribute...maybe my brain got fried in our recent heat wave.

Sara