Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Do I look like an IT person, honey?
Images of Librarians in Cinema identified four items that are used to identify a librarian: A Bun, Glasses, Large White Collar, and "Shush!"
Tonight I wore my bun and glasses to the library. Just too hot for collars.
I had to keep asking people to SPEAK UP!!!! because everyone firmly believes there must be silence in libraries.
That means just move your lips and let no sound escape when speaking to the librarian. I do not read lips. Even when I ask LOUDLY "I need you to speak up" I still get just an occasional "d" or "t" sound.
How were we librarians so successful with this being quiet thing? I wish we had told everyone they needed to save sex for marriage and pay cash for everything. The world would be a much better place if we had.
And what did everyone want the librarian in a bun and glasses to do this evening? Did they need critical information, a suggestion for a wonderful novel, a statistic for a research project?
No, they did not. Although one woman wanted to know where Anthony Jackson (a person) would be found in Houston. Did we have a book that would help her find Anthony. Not a phone book either. I did what I could.
What everyone REALLY needed was IT work. I spent most of the night figuring out why their floppy disc was not working anymore, why their flash drive wouldn't fit into the computer (requiring me to get on my knees and try to slide the little tube thing up into the computer in a manner that mostly reminds me of inserting a tampon (excuse me for being blunt), trying to figure out why a class evalutation form would not send to the printer, and why the scanner refused to scan.
For this I got a Masters degree.
I got home and MY computer suddenly stopped internet connection. So I called our cable provider, and got put on hold about 5 minutes (a miracle!), and was made to tell if we had ether net or USB. Since I had just bought a USB cable, I confidently said "We have USB", to which the IT person said no, I had ethernet.
So I had to unplug everything, refusing to drag my modem out for its cabinet. Finally IT person firmly announced "You have a USB connection, it shows here. I will refresh it." Like I was really trying her patience.
All fixed. Sheesh.
Here's some great quotes from the Librarians in Cinema"The Image of Librarians in Cinema, 1917-1999"
Ray Tevis and Brenda Tevis
(This book was the continuance of a 1981 Library Science class at Ball State University, in which fourteen library science students took Ray's class "The 'Reel" Librarian." Five of the students later completed graduate papers focusing on the image of librarians in motion pictures.)
"I wish I owned this library!...I'd get an axe and smash it into a million pieces, then I'd set fire to the whole town, and play a ukulele while it burned!"
-Lulu Smith, Librarian, played by Barbara Stanwyk in Frank Capra's Forbidden. 1932
(Question: I get most of this, Lu, but why the ukulele?)
"What good does it do to bring those children up believing in all this bunk. Peter Pan. Goldilocks. Happy endings. Lies! Lies! Lies!"
-Allie Smith, Librarian, played by Helen Twelvetrees, in Young Brides. 1932
(Question: Maybe we'd best not hire any more librarians with the last name of Smith?)
"...places I've never been to... Faraway places. Rangoon, Mandalay... And...somebody to
be there with you. Somebody you can be proud of and look up to. You don't know who. I guess all girls are that way when they're my age. Just crazyheaded."
Allie Smith, Librarian.
(Question: You mean like the "girls" at my library who tramp all over the globe every chance that get? I don't think it's an age thing, Allie. Just crazyheaded.)
"I work in a public library. That's why I don't keep any books around, but you may if you like."
Susan Merrill, Librarian, played by Ann Dvorak, in Gentlemen are Born. 1934
"After Monday at the library, it will be a pleasure to see somebody beat up, all bloody."
Susan Merrill, Librarian
(Question: Susan, have you met Lulu? I think you two are going to get along just great!)
"If you are married, you certainly cannot expect to keep your position. ...You have been depriving some other girl with no means of outside support from obtaining a position here...I will thank you not to used the library for future references."
Miss Graham, Librarian, played by Virginia Howell in Gentleman are Born.
Un-named Librarian, played by Hilda Plowright in The Philadelphia Story. 1940
(first American reel librarian to utter the trademark word)
McByrne (at the Information Desk): "Say, Where's the Information Desk?"
Librarian Kay Ryan: "Why, it's always been right here!"
McByrne: How long have you been in this racket?
Ryan: About a year.
McByrne: Like it?
Ryan: Most of the time.
McByrne: Gee, how do you stand the quiet in here?
Ryan: I'm hardened to it
Librarian Kay Ryan, played by Lynne Roberts, in Quiet Please, Murder 1942
"I've been reading for 70 years, it hasn't been nearly long enough"
Un-named Librarian, played by Adeline De Walt Reynolds in The Human Comedy 1943
(Question: Will she EVER retire?)
"If I had any mind at all, I'd be a brazen hussy."
Librarian Ellen Shavley, played by Virginia Mayo in Wonder Man 1945
(Question: If you had just half a mind, could you be just a plain old hussy?)
"You know, you don't look like a man who would be interested in first editions."
Un-named Librarian, played by Carole Douglas in The Big Sleep 1946
"Bye, girls. Always a pleasure seeing your freshly scrubbed, smiling faces. Remember our motto: Be on time, do your work, be down in the bar at 5:30"
Boss Mike Cutler, played by Gig Young, to Corporate Librarians in Desk Set 1957
Note to self: Buy more big white collar blouses, keep wearing glasses and buns. And take a IT class. And a lip reading class. And buy a ukelele.