Monday, February 09, 2009

Does the CIA know about this?


One of my tasks at work today was researching Aesthetic school's spa menus around town.

You know...the places where you can go to get beautiful, via masks and wax, manicures and pedicures.

Some of those menus made restaurant menus seem dull by comparison.

Vanilla Creme facials...Chocolate Raspberry Pedicures...Orange Spice Lymphatic Massage.

It was so hard to stay at the desk when such dreamy body care is available for a pittance at the local beauty schools.

On the other hand...one school offered eyebrow, upper lip, bikini, Brazilian, underarm, leg and arm waxing.

Not quite so tempting...

Nothing new there. They are just somewhat painful beauty treatments that are sometimes necessary to look well groomed.

Then I read:

Nostril Waxing.......$5.00

Just reading the words makes my eyes water.

How would they get the wax up there?

How would they get it OUT of there?

It occurs to me that at $5 a pop, perhaps this is the perfect solution to water boarding torture.

I can imagine how it could go at one of the terrorist holding camps:

"Tell us what you know about jihad...what is being planned...when, where...tell us NOW or we'll be giving you a spa treatment! Tell us or your ugly hair spouting nose is going to be
sorry, I PROMISE you. Hahaha haaaa ha! And you thought the chest waxing we did yesterday was bad...you haven't seen nothing yet!"

Later, when confronted by the media about possible torture, the captors can say with a perfectly straight face:

"We treated them well! We even gave them spa treatments!"

5 comments:

Anneliese said...

I feel like I know you somewhat from Lovella's blog. This is sooo funny!! I'm with you and had to keep from trying to sound too surprised when I found out about arm waxing.
Thanks for stopping by today.

Vicki said...

OUCH!

My eyes are watering, too...not just from the perceived pain, but from laughing at the post itself! You crack me up, Jill!

Lovella said...

Oh Jill .. .your humor kills me. . .I just have to laugh at your thinking. . .indeed ..Jill thinks differently, and we wouldn't want it any other way. . .

running wildly said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA. Smiling & laughing the whole way through. Oh Jill, you've made my day with this post. Spa treatments as a means of torture. Pure bloody brilliance.

Julie said...

Ohh Jill!
You are tooo funny!
I think you should write for Obama... We have to listen to him sooo much over here .. and with you as his ghost writer, I dare say he would be a president none would forget !! smile