Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I just smile.

It is life's random images that make me want to grab my camera the fastest.
The SLC trip had a nice collection of laughable moments, and I wanted to post them as their own separate posting.
I hope you get a chuckle too.

The first image was recorded only in my own mind. While flying out of Houston, the pilot came on the speaker and announced that now that we had reached cruising altitude, we were now free to roam about the cabin.

I could just picture EVERYONE unbuckling at once, and beginning to mill and meander and ROAM around the cabin, like brainless cattle, stopping and staring at various people and seats, what not, and what have you.
I'm not sure why I think that is so funny, but I do.

Usually the pilot says we are free to MOVE about the cabin.

"Roam" just sounds funnier to me.

Fresh off the plane I encountered this young woman. She was just ahead of me in the ladies room, and I guess I don't get out as much as I think I do, because my brain immediately began sending wincing messages to me, along the lines of "asymmetrical breast" and "surgical correction" of said condition.

I felt so sorry for her, imagining what it must be like to go through life with one gignormous breast, and needing a form of breast support on the exterior of her clothing. I looked away, embarrassed for her.

Maybe I've just been in Texas too long.
It's the land of cosmetic surgery. There are glossy freebie magazines in every shop with pictures of "before" and "after" surgeries. Breast asymmetry is often pictured.
It wasn't until I saw her again at the baggage claim area that it dawned on me that she had a BABY in that chest wrap/sling.
my bad.
(How does that kid BREATH anyway? And isn't it awfully hard on Mom's back having the kid up that high? My kid's always rode facing me; I can't help but think having the baby's bottom end on one side would cause back issues.)
One of my favorite things to do in a new place is to roam around supermarkets looking for unusual and/or local products. Dryer's Ice Cream Sports Edition "BYU Cougar Craze" caught my eye right away.
Fair and balanced...University of Utah Utes had their own flavor.
Jeff explained that SLC has the highest ice cream consumption per capita in America.
Dreyer's knows what they are doing.
Wonder why they aren't doing it in football crazy Texas?
Even if they do, I won't be holding my breath for an ice cream for my Texas Womans University Pioneers. They could call it Pioneer Pudding, or something like that.
TWU: We are still undefeated in football this season!
While Utah has a law requiring low alcohol level beers, there are still micro breweries.
Squatters Chasing Tail Golden Ale (another beer, doggone it!) looked fun.
Squatters actually had several varieties of beers. Provo Girl Pilsner was pretty cute. Wonder if she'll get a fashion update once the high rise pants sweep the clothing market?
Nah. No way. Not with her flat little tummy to show off, despite swilling down beer all day.
Polygamy Porter has got to be the best though. "Why have just one!"
Brewed by Wasatch Beers, their advertising tag line is "Bring some home to the wives!"
What a hoot.
Once we got to camp I made a trip to the ladies room. On the back of the stall door was this sign. I totally understand; plumbing is often sensitive, and it must be hard to find a plumber out in the National Park wilderness.
The part that got me was the fact that this was a sign manufactured by Scenic Signs, based in Wausau Wisconsin.
I've never been to Wausau Wisconsin personally, but if this is their idea of a scenic sign, I think I will pass on making a visit there any time soon.
At the airport on the way home I stopped for a cup of coffee, then I headed over to my gate, remembering last visit fiasco where we had to be paged because we had tarried over our lattes too long.
Along the way I passed a gate waiting area with a lot of women, and they were all brightly singing together "One fine day, you going to want me for your girl."
This at 6:30 in the morning.

They were all in great voice and perfect pitch, and it really was charming to hear them singing together while they waited for their flight.
When they finished, everyone within hearing distance gave them a round of applause.
How sweet is that?

Very sweet.

So sweet it made me smile.


Vicki said...

I needed a reason to laugh out loud provided several! Thanks, Jill!

Glorious Hats said...

OK you jogged the old memory bank - here is a poem posted above the toilets in the bathroom of cabins that Burroughs employees could rent at Burroughs Farms for vacations back in the 1950s --

I'm just a little septic tank
and unlike your city sewer
There are many many things
that I cannot endure

Kleenex and matches,
..... and gum
These are just the sort of thing
that put me on the bum

But if you're a little careful
and remember all these things
I'll do my job complete
and do it very neat.

(appologies for the mind blank on the one item. Indeed the words and rhymes may be a bit off all together) It was after all 50 years ago, that my sisters and I read that poem and recited it with glee in the car on the way home from a great vacation.)

ROTFLOL thanks for the memories.

Lovella said...

and now I'm chuckling too.
Thanks Jill.

Glorious Hats said...

The mind cleared the right words for the one stanza are--

cigarettes and matches,
kleenex and gum


Russ said...

My wife laughed when I showed her the poem, saying, "I can't believe you found that poem!"

For what it's worth, her memory of the missing lines (50 years later) is:

Kleenex and matches,
Cigarettes and gum,
Or too much toilet paper,
Puts me on the bum.